Funny Stuffs

First scene----

Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently
and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her.
So there Ah Beng was bragging the various
functions of his new car to his girlfriend.
'This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!'
'Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!' said Ah Lian. '
Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!'
So Ah Lian said, 'Let me try! I wan, I wan!'
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and
shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards
and crashed into the lamp-post.
'Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo!
U see lah! Wah Piang eh!' screamed Ah Beng
'Solee, solee, pai sah lah!
No lah, I tot hor, 'R' for racing mah!'


Second scene----
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian were at the army supply base to collect underwear.
The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah? Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)! Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many? Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun.
One day one. Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear? Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen! Sergeant: (curious) How come six? Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei? Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!! Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for? Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one.


Third scene,
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

Fourth scene,
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Fifth scene,
Ah Beng complained to the police:
'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.
'Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?
'Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

Sixth scene,
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole
'Thanks for complement.'

Seventh scene,
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Eighth scene,
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

Ninth scene,
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi
goes walking in the Evening and notin the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Hereby to exclude all liability this post will created.