HELP

Change to CELCOM!
Don't ask why! Just change!
This is what a friend should do xD
So, call me now to change ur operator to celcom.
Available for all others operators' users to change to celcom.
Pick up your phone now and call me for further queries.
Muahahaha

Lame jokes

DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS
These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts"
and are things people ACTUALLY said in court.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this male or female?
WITNESS: Guess.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of you autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. Would you like to rephrase your question?

ATTORNEY: ALL of your answers must be ORAL, okay? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: Around 8:30 pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at that time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forgot.
ATTORNEY: You forgot? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why does that bother you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old was he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's 21.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

ATTORNEY: She had 3 children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a different attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? MINE?

source:soompi

Vacancy

I am writing for the sake of writing.
I am looking for those who can speaks well, aggressive(in the sense of promoting product), dare to talk, sound mind, whatever, and are in shortage of money to work.

As you all know, those Celcom, Digi, Maxis are running the program of changing operator but not the number you having now.
Well, this is the work you gonna do. All u need to do is persuade(including lie, cheat, force, impliedly forcing, expressly assaulting) them to change their operator to Celcom.

This job provides no basic, full commission based. For further information about the rate of commission, you can contact me personally.

If this job doesn't suit you, you can ask me for the other one, which is the credit card sales(include quite a number of banks). Just contact me or leave me a message if you needs a job.

Funny Stuffs

First scene----

Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently
and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her.
So there Ah Beng was bragging the various
functions of his new car to his girlfriend.
'This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!'
'Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!' said Ah Lian. '
Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!'
So Ah Lian said, 'Let me try! I wan, I wan!'
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and
shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards
and crashed into the lamp-post.
'Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo!
U see lah! Wah Piang eh!' screamed Ah Beng
'Solee, solee, pai sah lah!
No lah, I tot hor, 'R' for racing mah!'


Second scene----
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian were at the army supply base to collect underwear.
The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah? Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)! Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many? Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun.
One day one. Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear? Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen! Sergeant: (curious) How come six? Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei? Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!! Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for? Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one.


Third scene,
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

Fourth scene,
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Fifth scene,
Ah Beng complained to the police:
'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.
'Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?
'Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

Sixth scene,
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole
'Thanks for complement.'

Seventh scene,
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Eighth scene,
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

Ninth scene,
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi
goes walking in the Evening and notin the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Hereby to exclude all liability this post will created.

LISTEN THIS!

Ice Cream - Talk To Me(《溏心風暴之家好月圓》插曲)


Talk to me
You speak with me
Don’t sink before you rise baby
Don’t fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had feels like
A world away
Who’s to say,
we’ll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
Look I bought your favourite ice cream
I don’t wanna see it melt away
If you walk out now
I don’t know if we’re gonna be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me


The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where I know I won’t forget
And now, who’s to say, we’ll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
Look I bought your favorite ice ream
I don’t want to see it melts away
If you walk out nowI don’t know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
I want you to stay here with me

I am in love with this song!

Issues 2

Wee, Mr. Ong and Mr. Chua won! I guess they will fire the Bribery Nuisance to the max. The common point they had is they dare to talk, dare to do. Never afraid of the power of the dark. This is the reason i like them so much. Although Mr. Chua had involved in a scandal months ago, but it never stops him to gain his victory. At least, those people who voted him are real smartie. Rounds of applause*clap clap*

Have you all heard that the government will use RM5billion to help in the share market?
5billion = 5,000,000,000
Although 5billion sounds huge to us(small kids), but it actually only able to raise the share market for about 10points. However, some economist said that confidence in the market can be gained so that everyone will have the confidence in buying more shares. By this, our share market will raise fantasically. Wait a minute, the ***** government thought 5billion is what, their money? Is our bloody money k! Plus, if the 5billion is fully contributed into the market, still fine, but, is that possible? Perhaps only left few pieces of 5ringgit will be in to that market.
The way they put in the 5billion is really =.= They claimed that they had set up a company named Valuecap at 2003, but i think the boss should be SOMEONE. Someone who sits in somewhere now.

The only way to improve our country economic is not by putting in more capital, the more they put in, the more they EAT.
With stable government, constant development, only the country will have a better future. Ish, rubbish.

Lame idea?

I receive few bombs after i had post something about the government, which you guys can read it from the older messages in Cbox. I was wondering, what happened to Jasmine, bombarded my wall so much. It was out of my expectation that "she" will flame me like no tomorow. However, it was later found out that someone(god knows who is him/her) had actually imitate Jasmine. Thanks He Hui =D. Afterall, I feels that this is a good idea(if you are that evil), peoples might get irritated after receive those "kind" messages, and friendship can be ruin by this. Perhaps, you can imagine, I imitate the "secret admirer" at CCM blog, and propose to CCM that I will love him forever, take care of him =p, wondering whether CCM can sleep for that night or not^.^

Choo said my blog is too wordy T_T
So i am going to stop here,
and Jasmine, don't need to apologise for it,
its not your fault,
and credit to that SOMEONE for giving me so many comments.

Something you should know!

Just a short post, nothing much to say actually, but just feel like typing something.


A glass of water(250ml), is it heavy?
Do you think that it is heavy?
How heavy do you think it is?
Approximately 300g?
300g sounds so trivia, so is it heavy?
A lay person might answer me this: No, not heavy at all!
But look,
It is very heavy when you are too stubborn to believe that it is heavy.


When you hold that glass of water for a second, it might seems very light,
When you hold that glass of water for a minute, it might seems light,
When you hold that glass of water for an hour, it becomes heavy,
When you hold that glass of water for a day, it will become the heaviest item u hold before.

Life is a lie(quoted from cheng lin's blog),this is the truth afterall. Life is a real lie.
If you refuse to release things that you can't afford to hold, you will face with more and more problems. The thing you do not wish to release will soon be broken as what the glass will after one day. So, think carefully before you really wish to hold something tight.

3.11a.m, wasn't able to sleep! Goodnight!

Issues

Let me share my opinion with you guys, Malaysia's government really new some new blood. If they refuse to change for better future, sooner or later Malaysia will definitely face with severe economic crisis and political crisis as well. This is how the government works, when the fuel price in the international market gone wild, they quickly make a changes to the local fuel price. Sudden increase of 40% definitely makes people to feel tense up, it is a chain reaction. Whenever the fuel price raised, every thing will raise accordingly. No doubt on this as everyone will know how the price of every items are raising now. Recently, the international fuel price had dropped drastically to the the level of 70US dollar per unit, and yet the government had just make a small differences of 15cents per litre, and the fuel price now stands still at RM2.30. For your information, when our fuel price still at the level of Rm1.90 per litre, the international fuel price always swing around the price of 98-100US dollar. Now, the price is 70US dollar, why shouldn't the price go lower then RM1.90 and have to remain at RM2.30. This is really ridiculous and sounds very unreasonable. Yeah, you might tell me that the fuel price dropped drastically is due to the global economic crisis, but why the government can't make the changes wisely. Since it dropped to such a low level now, why can't we enjoy the lower price of fuel?

The reason for the government to raise the fuel price was to reduce subsidise, so that they got sufficient fund for other BIG programs. Well, as what i can see, nothing had actually been done. Malaysia shouldn't be this poor, compared to other country, our country got no natural disaster, full with natural resources and so many other things. Yet, our economic status still in such pathetic situation. One of my friends had tell me this, if ten million is collected from the tax the people had paid, and the ten million had fully contributed into the market, the ten million is running in the market, everyone will benefit from it. As i said earlier, it is a chain reaction, therefore if the ten million really goes into the market, our country will definitely develop better. However, the "rasuah" culture is so strong in our country. When ten million went in to the government, here eat a bit. there eat a bit, end up lefting ONE MILLION into the market. Now, who is going to benefit, the people in Malaysia, or the one sitting in the parliament? Not that i want to criticise the government so much, but this is the thing happening in our own country. Even a young kids know what is rasuah, every of my friends used to say, bring more money when u drive, cause u have to prepare to pay rasuah to those police if you were caught for some offences. This is the reality, what "kempen anti-rasuah", all rubbish. I bet it must be some other way for them to earn some money.

About the opposition leader, Anwar, i dare not to judge this person. A good speaker doesn't really mean he is a good leader. However, i do hope that he can(censored for not getting caught). At least this will provide us with a chance, a chance to have a better country in the future.

I am hereby to exclude any liability that this passage will do. ISA(ikut suka aku) is dangerous =D

Car Molesting

Yeah! I got my license! Duh, long ago. I got it since January, but i drive less than 10times. This is really =.=''
All this happening just because my daddy tells me that driving is dangerous, if u wanted to go anywhere, ask me to fetch you. Then whats the license for? Is just for emergency purpose, if possible, dun drive!
Since i am a damn f***ing obidient boy, i just followed whatever they had said.
However, today, my friend had actually put a challenge on me to drive. I was "OMG, will i die? It had been history since the last time i drive." Nevertheless, face always come first, cannot sia sui de ma, so i just STOLE a car to drive. Ya, STOLE. I saw Vios car key lie at dining table, tak mungkin tak ambil kan. Poofs, took it and drive.

I drive with extra attention, praying that i would not bang any of the cars, but
.
..
...
....
.....
almost bang
.....
....
...
..
.
thats means never bang, but i guess my car MOLESTED another car's ASS. Luckily my car never HIT that car's ASS, if not i have to pay the compensation to the car for trespassing his/her ass. I got no money k, in serious economic crisis today, can survive also can be counted as those lucky one.

Lim Teh Section ended at around 12.30, then drove back safely, is safely, super duber hyper safe. Nothing went wrong. By the way, EAGLEEYE is FANSTATIC, i hereby to recommend everyone to watch it! MUST WATCH!
GSC and TGV should pay me =D

Decide for me pls!

Recently, a problem had actually reached me and i really got no idea how to solve it.
Yet, this problem got alot to do with my own future, that bloody future.
Now you guys answer me, would u like to stay in Manchester United as a reserve, or
become the first-line player of Malaysia team(lousy as you know)?
Well, everyone will surely had a different opinion about this. At first, i planned to play as a reserve in MU, but lately i discover whatever my lecturer told me is right. Being a first-line player in Malaysia team(MY) will provide you will some benefits as well. And this really struck me down. I has been thinking and thinking for days and days, and yet still no decision made.

Now u all might wonder why am i thinking about football stuff, perhaps i might be offered? LOL, too bad i am not. Whatever i had said is happening to me now.

MU= University of London, the top law university(suppose to be)
MY= University of Northrumbia, some "two hit six" university

Since that MU is the top law university, the test is definitely tougher than the others. Furthermore, if u failed one of the four paper, you will need to resit it IN A YEAR TIME.
which means, ONE YEAR IS WASTED! If u failed one time per year, that means a 3 years course will eventually become a 6 years course. WTF is this? Do some calcualtion, 19+6=25.
25 years old only able to come out to the society and work, and still not a lawyer yet. According to what my lecturer said, CLP(lawyer's license) needs around 3times of failing to pass. This means i will work as a lawyer at 28. Then i cant earn sufficient money, cant marry, cant have my own house, own car, own company, own wife. own children. I dowan to get marry at the age of 35 or 40. Its terrible, cause professionals said reproductive system will go down the slope after 35 xD

Yeah, you might now ask me to go for that TOOT university, but the problem is still there.
If i choose MU, whole course will only cause around 50k. While that damn MY will 'makan' 200k.
4 times differences, and you tell me which to choose? For sure, i do not want to burden my parents just to send me to overseas and gain that ******** certificate. I planned to get the money myself, but can anyone tell me how to earn 200k in 2years time? OR
Which bank or atm machines stores more cash in it?

TELL ME NOW, WHICH TO CHOOSE!

Credit

First and foremost,
as u can see in the title above, credit shall be given to


Ke Chean- kechean.blogspot.com


for helping me to complete the blog background.
Its my pleasure to know you^^,
and hope that our friendships last forever,
of course I hope all my friends can stay close to me, no doubt on this.


Since I am still new to blogging, I need some Pro Blogger to help me actually
i.e. CCM-myobscurelife.blogspot.com , NKC-kechean.blogspot.com and etc
there are still plenty of them, just that I am kinda lazy to type all of it,
so make it short^^.


Tonight will be a long night again, cause I am going to burn the midnight oil again.
I have to complete revision on Biz, Psychology and Law of Contract.
I am totally exhausted, but yet i have to carry all these stuffs on.
Stop here, and I will continue my study now.