Change to CELCOM!
Don't ask why! Just change!
This is what a friend should do xD
So, call me now to change ur operator to celcom.
Available for all others operators' users to change to celcom.
Pick up your phone now and call me for further queries.
Muahahaha
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Lame jokes
DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS
These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts"
and are things people ACTUALLY said in court.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this male or female?
WITNESS: Guess.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of you autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. Would you like to rephrase your question?
ATTORNEY: ALL of your answers must be ORAL, okay? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: Around 8:30 pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at that time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forgot.
ATTORNEY: You forgot? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why does that bother you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old was he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's 21.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
ATTORNEY: She had 3 children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a different attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? MINE?
source:soompi
These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts"
and are things people ACTUALLY said in court.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this male or female?
WITNESS: Guess.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of you autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. Would you like to rephrase your question?
ATTORNEY: ALL of your answers must be ORAL, okay? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: Around 8:30 pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at that time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forgot.
ATTORNEY: You forgot? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why does that bother you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old was he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's 21.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
ATTORNEY: She had 3 children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a different attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? MINE?
source:soompi
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Vacancy
I am writing for the sake of writing.
I am looking for those who can speaks well, aggressive(in the sense of promoting product), dare to talk, sound mind, whatever, and are in shortage of money to work.
As you all know, those Celcom, Digi, Maxis are running the program of changing operator but not the number you having now.
Well, this is the work you gonna do. All u need to do is persuade(including lie, cheat, force, impliedly forcing, expressly assaulting) them to change their operator to Celcom.
This job provides no basic, full commission based. For further information about the rate of commission, you can contact me personally.
If this job doesn't suit you, you can ask me for the other one, which is the credit card sales(include quite a number of banks). Just contact me or leave me a message if you needs a job.
I am looking for those who can speaks well, aggressive(in the sense of promoting product), dare to talk, sound mind, whatever, and are in shortage of money to work.
As you all know, those Celcom, Digi, Maxis are running the program of changing operator but not the number you having now.
Well, this is the work you gonna do. All u need to do is persuade(including lie, cheat, force, impliedly forcing, expressly assaulting) them to change their operator to Celcom.
This job provides no basic, full commission based. For further information about the rate of commission, you can contact me personally.
If this job doesn't suit you, you can ask me for the other one, which is the credit card sales(include quite a number of banks). Just contact me or leave me a message if you needs a job.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
